Friend Zone (Friend Zone Series Book 1) Page 13

I should have been embarrassed, but somehow, there wasn’t room for it. I’d never been so comfortable with another man before. It didn’t make any sense to me because it should have been awkward. I’d known Liam so long in every other way, him seeing me naked, him making me come should have made me want to run in the other direction. But it didn’t.

  It made me want to climb on top of him and do it again.

  All I wanted to do was sink against him and stay in the protective circle of his arms. I’d always been relaxed around him, but this was different. It was as though I’d discovered another side of him, one that fit all my jagged edges like the perfect matching puzzle piece.

  I blinked up at him, my tongue thick and heavy in my mouth. I didn’t know what to say, but he seemed to know what I wanted without words and simply put a hand on my waist and wrapped me up in his arms, just like I needed.

  I’m not normally a crier, but my chest swelled with emotions I didn’t know how to handle. Instead of letting them out, I balled my free fist up in the sheets to cover his stomach and pressed my forehead against his chest. The hand on my back rubbed over me in a soothing gesture until my breathing went back to normal and all the blood returned to my brain.

  “Wow,” I said, when I could think again. “Just…wow.”

  He chuckled and pressed an absent-minded kiss to the top of my head that made it hard for me to swallow. “Good morning?”

  “Very,” I answered. I exhaled shakily. “Very good morning.”

  “You okay?” he asked, his mouth still resting against my hair.

  “I think so.”

  He started to speak, but my phone cut him off. “Hold that thought. Some rando’s been calling me for weeks. Let me tell them to stop calling,” I said as I reached for it. “Hello?” But it came out split into two words because the second I answered, Liam’s hand streaked up my thigh. I held it with one of my own.

  “Hello?” came the tentative answer. “Is this Charlie St. James?”

  The hand climbed higher, despite my grip on it. “S-speaking.” I glared at Liam, but there wasn’t a shred of regret to be found. As soon as the call was over, I was going to tease him until he begged for it.

  “You sound just like me. I can’t believe it’s really you.”

  My hand went limp on Liam’s and my heart began to race. “Who is this?” I scrambled for an explanation, but my mind was blank.

  “Do you have a minute to talk?” came the woman’s answer. I didn’t recognize her voice. She said I sounded just like her, but I didn’t note the resemblance. Besides, why would I sound like her? That didn’t make any sense…

  Then it hit me. I sat up straight, racing heart now in my throat. “Who is this?” I repeated. My voice was harsh, almost a bark, but I didn’t care. “Tell me or I’m hanging up.”

  “Don’t hang up. Please. I just want a chance to explain.”

  “Start talking, then.”

  Liam sat up against the headboard and his arm came around me until his hand rested reassuringly on my thigh. “What’s the matter?” he murmured.

  I could barely hear him or the woman on the phone over the ringing in my ears.

  “This is April. April Parrish.” She laughed nervously. “I’m, God, I’m your mom, Charlie.”

  “P-Parrish. April Parrish,” I repeated to make sure I was hearing things correctly. The word “Mom” ricocheted in my skull. I’d played this scenario over and over again in my head, but I never truly believed I’d ever hear from her again. Now that I had her on the phone, I didn’t know what I wanted to say first, if anything.

  “Yes, baby, it’s me. God, it’s been such a long time.”

  “Mom?” Someone answered. It took me a minute to realize the small sounding voice was my own.

  “Mom?” Liam repeated. His hand tightened on my hip. I covered it with my own and squeezed, needing the reassurance his strength provided.

  “I know. I can’t believe it either,” she said. I had to close my eyes to focus on the sound of her voice. She was right. I could recognize my own in hers. “I was at work and I came across your application for the volunteer trip. I almost couldn’t believe what I was reading. It took me weeks to work up the courage to call you.”

  “You work for the volunteer organization?”

  “Sort of. It’s hard to explain, but I’d love to meet you in person. If you’re up to that, I mean. I want to help you.”

  “Help me?”

  “With the application. I know some people and thought I might push it along so they see it? If you were interested, I mean.”

  The happiness I’d felt waking up to Liam had leached away the moment I answered the phone and realized who was on the other line. “Why would you want to help me now?” I asked.

  Liam’s hand tightened on mine. I squeezed back for dear life, a little more at ease knowing that no matter what happened, he was there for me.

  “I know nothing I say can ever explain away what I’ve done, but I thought, maybe it was a sign. Maybe enough time has passed that we can talk again. Nothing I say will ever explain away what I did, but I’d like the chance to give you my side of the story.”

  “Why should I?” I asked bluntly.

  There was a pause before she said. “I thought you might like the chance to get to know your family.”

  “My family?” My throat closed around the words.

  “Please, Charlie. Just give me a chance.”

  I hung up a few minutes later and slumped against the headboard, unsure of what to think. My mom. I’d just talked to my mom. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted a million different things and didn’t know which one of them I should do first.

  “Are you okay?” Liam asked quietly.

  I shoved my face in my hands and sucked in a deep breath, but it didn’t help. “I honestly don’t know.”

  He kissed my shoulder and his breath fanned over my still-bare skin. I’d forgotten I was naked, but as soon as I realized it and how close he was, my body heated. Despite the shock, it still wanted him. I wanted him.

  “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  I turned to lean my head against his chest and my muscles relaxed as his warmth seeped into my clammy skin. “Just stay with me for a while, please.”

  “Of course.” His hands traced my body, causing me to shiver. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  I shrugged. What was there to say? I still couldn’t believe what had happened. “She wants to meet me. To talk.”

  “Are you gonna do it?”

  I closed my eyes and fitted my face into his neck. As though we’d done it a thousand times, he shifted to make room for my body. “I’m not sure.”

  “Whatever you decide, I’m sure it’ll be the right thing.” How he could be so certain, I’d never know. What I did know was he was my rock. The solidness of him beside me quelled the panic that threatened to rise.

  Silence surrounded us, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Then I tilted my head back to look at him. “Will you do me a favor?”

  He brushed the hair away from my face. “Anything,” he said.

  “Will you help me forget, just for a little while?”

  His hand trailed down my arm, pushed beneath the sheet covering my bare hip and cupped my ass. “You mean like this?”

  “Yes,” I said on an exhale. “Please.”

  His voice dropped an octave. “I love it when you say that.”

  I strained upward until my lips reached his ear. “Please, Liam.”

  He groaned and settled between my legs. “Whatever you want, sweetheart. I’ll give you whatever you want.”

  He slid inside, and I gripped his arms. “All I want is you.”

  An hour later, we were running very late to meet up with the girls, Dash, and Tripp for dinner and drinks. Since we all lived in the same building, we normally met at Ember’s place on the first floor since it was the most convenient. She’d offered to let me stay with her, but her twin brother and sister slept over her place
as often as they did her parents. Ember had enough on her plate and I didn’t want to be a burden.

  “Sorry we’re late,” I said as I stumbled into her living room, tugging on my cardigan sleeve and trying not to blush. Liam had done exactly as I asked and made me forget everything but him. “I was doing…stuff.”

  Liam emerged from the door behind me with a self-satisfied smile on his lips. “I was stuff.”

  I slapped him on the shoulder, then shoved him into the wall. I turned, sniffed, then said, “Did someone save me a slice of ham and pineapple?”

  Ember and Layla shouted, “I knew it!” at the same time and Dash and Tripp shared manly grins with Liam.

  It wouldn’t make our problems go away and we’d have a lot to talk about eventually, but for now, I had my friends and I had Liam and that was all I needed to forget everything else and lose myself in the moment for once instead of worrying.

  Chapter Twenty

  Liam

  I left Charlie in my bed the next day without waking her.

  Not only because she looked so peaceful as she slept, but because I knew if I looked into her eyes I wouldn’t be able to do what I needed to do without feeling overwhelming guilt. But it didn’t matter. I still felt regret gnawing away at my insides like a cancerous tumor. I rationalized it by telling myself there was no use in bringing up the scholarship as my options were still wide open. The last thing she needed right now was for me to bring up that I was applying to veterinary schools out of state.

  The ride to the library on campus took for-fucking-ever and gave me too much time to think. Too much time to remember how Charlie looked the moment she took me inside her. How she made me feel like I was the only man in the world, in her eyes. It was heart-stopping, the way she looked at me.

  I used to think I knew everything about her. I could tell by the sound of her voice if she was happy or sad. I could read her like a fuckin’ book.

  But the past couple days.

  They’d been different.

  They’d been more.

  And it scared the fucking shit out of me.

  It made me want things I shouldn’t want.

  Things I don’t deserve.

  She makes me want it all—with her.

  I had to force all of it—including her—from my mind as I reached the parking garage for the library. The scholarship was for the University of California, Davis. It had been my first choice after the University of Florida. Or at least it had been before I realized how far away I’d be if I got it. How far away I’d be from Charlie.

  I used to think being with Charlie was a simple as breathing. Now I realized it was so much more than that. Being around her was as essential, as life-giving, as necessary. The thought of losing her sent my body into an all-out panic. My chest ached and my brain screamed for just one more inhale.

  I knew reality would return when deadlines for admission came, along with all my doubts, but for that moment, I wanted to breathe her in over and over, until she’s was as much a part of me as the oxygen flowing through my veins. I wanted to enjoy having her by my side for as long as I fucking could.

  Each step I took through the cavernous lobby put more and more distance between me and the one person I never thought I could abandon. I could feel myself moving father and father away from her, but I knew we’d both regret it if I put my plans on hold. Despite everything that had happened, we both had a future.

  As I sat at the desk to review my paperwork, I realized I’d never considered the fact that our futures might not be with one another. And that thought scared me more than it should.

  I was so troubled by the thought I pushed it from my mind and called my dad to stop from thinkin about it.

  “Hello,” he answered after a couple rings. I had to press my ear close to the speaker because my dad had a habit of getting distracted and not speaking directly into the microphone.

  “Hey, Dad, it’s Liam.”

  “Liam. Good to hear from you.”

  I cleared my throat. “You too. Uh, listen, I’m being considered for a couple scholarships for veterinary school and I need your help with the financial information. They’re requesting copies of tax returns for the past couple years for verification.”

  Dad grunted.

  “Would you mind emailing me copies, please? I don’t have them and they need them in the next couple weeks before they announce finalists.”

  I didn’t try to explain to him what the scholarships could mean for me. They were the difference between attending a top school in the country or settling for my second choice. The truth was, I wasn’t sure he’d care about the difference. As far as he was concerned, I was chasing a pipe dream.

  “Yeah, I’ll see what I can do.”

  “It’s that William?” came Grandma Dorothy’s voice.

  “It’s Liam, Mom,” Dad corrected solemnly.

  I felt like a dick. Dad was just trying to do what was best for his family. He probably couldn’t understand why I wanted to become a vet despite that I’d tried to explain it to him several times. He had to put his mother in a home rather than take care of her. Much as we butted heads, I needed to remind myself to cut him a break.

  “Liam!” came Grandma’s familiar voice as she took the phone. “I miss you baby boy. When are you going to come see me again?”

  I thought of upcoming exams, work, and the acceptances I needed to sort through and make a decision about. “I’m going to try to head over there as soon as I can, okay?” I hated telling her no, but there was so much I needed to do.

  “Oh, alright. Well, I miss you and I love you!”

  “I love you, too. Give mom a hug for me.”

  “I will, baby. You take care of yourself.”

  “You, too,” I answered, but she was already gone.

  * * *

  After a long day of classes and worrying about grandma, I was looking forward to going home, and if I was honest, seeing Charlie. We’d texted throughout the day, but I wanted to bury myself in her and forget everything else. I’d spent an hour at the gym after my last class, but it still didn’t erase the unease pulling at my stomach. The only thing in my life that seemed to be going right was her…and I didn’t want to lose her.

  The scent of spices and grilling meat greeted me the second I opened the door and nearly brought me to my knees. I immediately made a mental note to give her the hardest orgasm of her life. It was like she knew I needed to come home to something like this today. I don’t know how she knew, but I was grateful.

  “Something smells good,” I said as I dropped my stuff by the door and crossed the open living room to where she stood by the oven smiling at me.

  “I hope you don’t mind. After work I was craving some red meat.”

  I wrapped my arms around her waist as she stirred what looked like mashed potatoes in a pot. My mouth watered, but it wasn’t only for the food. “Mind? I think you’re an angel.”

  “You better quit it,” she said when I started nibbling on her ear. “If you don’t I might burn the food.”

  I backed away to sit at the island, but my eyes were on her. “Fine, but only because I’m starving. First I’ll eat dinner, then I’ll have you for dessert.”

  Her cheeks grew rosy and I smiled, feeling the tension leaving my body. “Is it always like this?” she asked as she turned back to add butter, salt, and pepper to the mashed potatoes.

  I take a sip from the beer she’d already had waiting on the counter while I considered my answer. “What do you mean?”

  She didn’t turn to face me as she spoke. “I’ve never felt like this about anyone before. I never let myself. But I already care so much about you, it’s like there’s no stopping it now.”

  The beer washed away the knot in my throat. “Come here,” I told her and she did as I asked. I pulled her between my legs so I could look into her eyes. I could have told her it was normal, that every relationship feels as intense as the connection between us, but I couldn’t. “No, it isn’t al
ways like this.”

  “Is it because we’re friends?”

  Sitting down she was the perfect height for me to pull her lips to mine. “I don’t have an answer for that,” I said against her mouth. “But what I do know is I care about you. A lot. More than I have for any other woman. I didn’t plan for this to happen, but I’m glad it did.”

  She let me take the kiss deeper until the kitchen timer trilled. “I better get that,” she said and I was pleased to find she was little out of breath. “I have something to ask and if it’s too much you can say no.”

  “What is it?”

  “Will you go with me to meet my mom tomorrow?”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Charlie

  “You’ll stay with me?” I hated that my voice wavered. I didn’t want to care that I was about to see my mother for the first time in over half my life.

  Liam squeezed my hand, reminding me that I wasn’t alone. “Of course I will. I’m not going anywhere.”

  From my vantage point in a booth at the Chinese restaurant I’d chosen, I noted the parking lot was as empty as it had been for the past ten minutes. Part of me was afraid she wouldn’t show. I almost hoped she didn’t. It would be so easy to spend the rest of my life blaming her for everything that had gone wrong. Or maybe she would show and be worse than the villain I’d conjured in my mind. Someone I could pity and forget.

  Normally, I loved the scents that wafted from the kitchen. Warm sesame oil, searing meat and garlic. Now they only exacerbated the nausea. A warm hand caressed my hip and settled on my waistline. Liam tugged me to his side and I closed my eyes against the vision of the parking lot and the images of my mother, pressing my face into the curve of his neck. He tucked his hand between my thighs and kissed my hair. As I snuggled closer in the booth facing the plate glass of the front window, I wondered how we’d spent so much time together without ever knowing how good it would feel to be this close.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “For what?” he asked.